“This is ridiculous,” Gage Matthews said as he glanced at the flowers on the stand and threw his arms up in frustration. “I don’t even buy flowers for my girlfriends, how am I supposed to pick out flowers for Jesse?”

“Because it’s a nice thing to do,” Cayden King answered as he browsed. “You’re the one who said you wanted to do something nice for Jesse, to make him feel better. You agreed that we’d bring him flowers, so pick,” Cayden said as he pointed to the flowers.

“This sucks,” Gage mumbled under his breath. “Hey,” he said as he called out to the clerk and started in her direction. “Which is the best bouquet to get for a guy that tried to kill himself?”

Rolling his eyes, Cayden reached for a single red rose and lifted it to his nose. Slowly inhaling the sweet scent, he closed his eyes and smiled.

“Red roses signify love,” a voice said to him. Opening his eyes, Cayden glanced over at Szymon Skubisz.

“Well, then I won’t be getting him any red roses,” Cayden said, slightly embarrassed as he returned to single flower back into the bucket with all of the others. “What are you doing here?” He questioned.

“I’m picking up some flowers for my mother,” Szymon responded. “Red roses,” he added with a smile as he glanced down at the large bouquet. “She deserves them. When you really love someone, you have to let them know.”

“Well, then she’s a lucky woman,” Cayden responded without thinking. His face blushed red and he glanced away. “I mean, to have a son that loves her so much,” he added, his voice trailing off at the end.

Smiling, Szymon nodded. “I guess so,” he agreed. “So you’re headed over to see Jesse?” He questioned.

“Yes,” Cayden answered with a nod. “It must suck to be stuck in a hospital room with nothing to do.”

“That’s actually where I’m headed,” Szymon informed him. “To see my mother at the hospital.”

“Oh my God,” Cayden said, “is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” Szymon assured him. “She had a heart attack, but she’s fine now. The doctors say she’ll be out of the hospital in no time.”

“Well, that’s good,” Cayden responded.

“So, you catching the train?” Szymon questioned.

“Yeah, if Gage ever decides to pick up the pace.”

Szymon glanced over his shoulder at Gage, who seemed to be more interested in the flower shop clerk than actually buying flowers. “I think it might take a while,” he noted with a grin. “He doesn’t look like he’s gotten her phone number yet.”

Cayden rolled his eyes and called out. “Gage, we have to go. You have that appointment for your genital herpes test, remember?” The flower shop clerk glanced at Gage with a disgusted expression and the man shook his head and walked over to Cayden.

“That wasn’t cool,” he said.

“Forget the flowers,” Cayden said, “We’ll get him a balloon at the hospital.”

“Fine,” Gage mumbled as he started toward the subway. “Let’s just go already.”

Glancing over at Szymon, Cayden smiled. “Are you coming?” He questioned.

“Of course,” Szymon said with a nod as he fell in step beside Cayden and smiled.

"Dude, I'm just going to wait here," Gage said as they stopped at the waiting room. "Hospitals give me the creeps and sick people really creep me out," he explained.

"Are you serious?" Cayden questioned. "We came all this way and you're not even going to see how he's doing?"

"I don't know what to say to him. I mean . . . I'll screw it all up. If you haven't noticed, I kind of mess everything up. Just go give him the balloons and I'll be waiting right here," he explained.

"Fine," Cayden said as he rolled his eyes. He glanced over at Szymon. "I hope your mother loves her roses," he said.

"I'm sure she will," Szymon responded.

"I'll see you around," Cayden said as he stepped away shyly and headed down the hall.

Szymon stopped and watched him go, staring at the younger man until he rounded the corner. Turning back, Szymon caught sight of Gage. The other man was staring at him incredulously. "What?" Szymon questioned.

"I'm trying to figure you out," Gage explained.

"Why?" Szymon questioned, as if he'd been caught doing something that he shouldn't have been doing.

"You do realize that he's not like other people, right?" Gage questioned. "Don't get me wrong, Cayden is a great guy, but he doesn't understand a lot of things. He's like a little kid in a lot of ways. Don't take advantage of that."

"What are you talking about?" Szymon questioned.

"Look, I see the way you look at him. I don't care which way you swing. If you're into guys, more power to you, but don't hurt him."

"This is ridiculous," Szymon said as he shook his head and started away from Gage.

Gage stepped directly into Szymon's way and looked him in the eye. "He's a good guy, is all I'm saying, but he's naïve. He still believes in love, for Christ's sake."

"So what's your point?" Szymon questioned, slightly annoyed.

"I was in love with someone once too," Gage admitted, "But it just wasn't meant to be. My point, detective, is that people like Cayden are very rare. When they come along, you have to treasure them. They give everything they've got. I just don't want you to take advantage of him and leave him with nothing. He lives in a fairy tale world where everyone is happy and everything is good. Just don't destroy that world and leave him alone to live in ours," he explained.

Szymon glanced at Gage for a moment until he glanced away and continued down the hall in silence.

"Look, he's uncomfortable. The bed is hard and he needs another pillow, that's all I'm asking," Kathryn Hayes said with frustration as she spoke to the woman at the nurse's station. "I'm not looking for a miracle here, just another pillow." Glancing to her right, she caught sight of Cayden. "Thank God," she said, "maybe you can talk some sense into this Nazis."

Cayden smiled at the nurse apologetically and turned toward Kathryn. "What's wrong?" He questioned.

"Well, this woman won't give Jesse another pillow."

"Kathryn, I'm sure Jesse is fine."

"Have you tried laying in these God-awful hospital beds?" She questioned. "It's like medieval torture."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," Cayden said. "Now, come over here," he said as he stepped to the side. "What's the real problem?" He questioned.

Kathryn sighed and stepped away from the nurse's station. "I just want him to be comfortable," Kathryn explained. "He has this expression on his face and it's just so sad to look out. It's like he's just given up. I don't know what to do."

Cayden nodded. "We'll do what we can, but you can't go around harassing nurses for pillows," he explained. "Jesse needs his friends right now, but he doesn't need them losing control or flying off the handle at perfect strangers."

"I know," Kathryn responded, "I just wish there was something that I could do. I knew something was wrong that day and I didn't do anything."

"That wasn't your fault," Cayden explained. "You couldn't have known that he would do something like that."

"Every time I look at him, my heart breaks. He seems so lost and I just want to help him find his way. He thought I was Julia," Kathryn explained. "When I walked into the bathroom and found him, he reached out to me and called me by her name. I was the single most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced."

Reaching over, Cayden pulled Kathryn into his arms. "It's going to be okay," he explained. "Jesse is going to pull through this. We're going to help him," he said as he pulled away. "But first you need to dry those beautiful eyes of yours," he explained with a smile. "When we go into that room, Jesse can't see how hurt you are. We have to think about him right now and how we're going to make him feel better. We can deal with our own thoughts in our own time."

"You're right," Kathryn said as she wiped away her tears. "We have to focus on his recovery." Glancing up at the balloons Cayden was holding, she smiled despite her intense emotion.

"Spongebob Squarepants?" She inquired.

"Hey," Cayden said, feigning insult, "he always makes me smile."

"You need to get out of here," Devon James said as she stood outside of Jesse Martinez's hospital room holding a pillow as she stared at the doctor. "You're only going to upset him even more and I can't have that," she explained.

"I'm here to help him," Dr. Waterman responded. "He needs to talk to someone."

"Then he can talk to me," Devon responded.

"Your friend attempted suicide," Dr. Waterman reminded her, "I am a professional. I can help him."

"You're a shrink," Devon countered, "and right now he doesn't need to feel like he's crazy, he needs to feel loved and you can't help him with that, you uptight prick, so why don't you just fuck off."

Dr. Waterman shook his head with disbelief. "Maybe you should talk to someone," he suggested.

"What did you just say?" Devon questioned as she got in his face."

"Nevermind," Dr. Waterman responded. "I'll just come back later," he said as he turned and walked down the hall. Devon rolled her eyes and entered Jesse's room.

Holding the pillow in her hands, Devon James stared down at Jesse Martinez in silence. As he lay sleeping in the hospital bed, she watched him intently as her hands squeezed the pillow rhythmically. She walked toward the bed, holding the pillow in her hands as she approached him.

Leaning over, she held the pillow close and paused for a moment as she stared at his saddened face. With a sigh, she moved the pillow closer. The door to Jesse's room opened and Devon glanced over as Cayden and Kathryn stepped in and watched her with shocked expressions on their faces.

"What?" Devon questioned as she reached over and gently lifted Jesse's head, firmly tucking the pillow beneath it. "He asked for another pillow and I got it for him," she explained as she stepped back.

Kathryn stepped into the room and crossed over to Jesse's side. She placed her hand on Jesse's arm and shook his softly, whispering his name. "Jesse?" She said as she glanced up at Devon, then turned her gaze toward Cayden, who remained frozen in place by the door.

"Let him sleep," Devon said, slightly annoyed.

Kathryn ignored her. "Jesse?" She whispered again.

Jesse groaned slightly and opened his eyes. "Hey," he mumbled absently as he stretched his arms. Kathryn felt a sense of relief and glanced over at Cayden.

"Did you get my pillow?" Jesse questioned.

"I got it," Devon assured him.

"Cayden is here," Kathryn explained. "He brought balloons."

"Balloons?" Jesse questioned.

"Yeah," Cayden said as he was finally able to take a step into the room. "They're Spongebob Squarepants," he explained. "I know, it's corny."

"No," Jesse said as he sat up in the bed, "I like Spongebob."

"Good," Cayden said as he set the balloons beside the bed. "How are you?" He questioned.

"Not to bad for someone who tried to kill himself," Jesse responded. Cayden fell silent. He didn't know what to say. "Relax," Jesse said with a smile as he took in the sight of the shocked faces in the room. "I'm fine. I'm being released orrow morning. They did a whole psych evaluation. I have to go see a shrink when I get out of here. They're putting me through the ringer."

"Good," Devon announced as she shook her head in disbelief, "because you put us through hell. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Devon . . ." Cayden began, but she raised her hand and cut him off.

"What you did . . . what you tried to do was the stupidest thing I have ever heard of," she continued. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you think Julia would have wanted you to kill yourself? Do you think she would have wanted you to cut your wrists and bleed to death?"

"Devon, please," Kathryn whispered.

"Oh shut up!" Devon ordered. "I swear to God, Jesse, I've already lost someone that I love, don't make me lose another," she said as she stormed out of the room.

"I guess I pissed her off," Jesse said softly after Devon stormed out of his hospital room.

"She shouldn't have said that," Kathryn explained.

"Yeah, she should have," Jesse admitted. "She was right. Kathryn, can you go and see if she's okay? I want to talk to Cayden for a minute."

Kathryn glanced over at Cayden, then back at Jesse. "Sure," she said as she stood up. "I'll be right back." Stepping out of the hospital room, Kathryn pulled the door shut and paused for a moment, wondering what Jesse had to speak to Cayden about.

A moment later, she caught sight of Devon down the hall and walked over to her. "What was that about?" Kathryn questioned.

"Mind your damned business," Devon rejoined.

"Look," Kathryn continued. "I understand that you have your own feelings and you're entitled, but don't take out your frustration on Jesse. He doesn't need your problems to add to his own."

"Look, I told you to mind your business, Kathryn. What goes on between me and Jesse is between us and it had nothing to do with you."

"You know, normally I would agree with you, but when you start treating Jesse like crap just because he made a mistake, it is my business. Who are you to treat him like that?"

"He's my friend," Devon explained. "He was my best friend's boyfriend. Julia was like a sister to me. What happened to her was awful and it hurts like hell. Some days I just wish I can go to sleep and wake up in the morning and realize that it was all a dream. I know it's hard to deal with, but what he did was stupid and selfish. You may want to walk on eggshells where he is concerned but I'm not going to pretend that I'm not upset with him for what he did. Lying to him isn't going to help."

"You don't have to lie to him, but you might want to try being a little nicer to him," Kathryn explained. "Try to imagine what things must be like for Jesse. Put yourself in his shoes, then maybe you'll realize that being a bitch isn't going to help him get any better."

"What is your part in all of this? Last time I checked, you were just his friend, now you're his savior, guardian, and protector? What's up with that?"

Kathryn paused for a moment. "I don't have to explain myself to you," she said as she turned away. Devon quickly reached out and grabbed the other woman by the arm.

"I saw the look on your face when you and Cayden walked into the room and saw me standing there with the pillow. You thought I did something to him. Do you honestly think that I would try to hurt him? What's your game Kathryn? You're not just concerned about Jesse, it's something more, isn't it?"

"I don't know what I was thinking," Kathryn said as she glanced down at Devon's hand on her arm. "Just like I don't know what you're thinking," she said as she yanked her arm out of Devon's grip. "You've obviously lost your mind."

"I don't think I have," Devon explained. "You're up to something, and I think I know what it is. You want Jesse to yourself, don't you?"

"You're crazy," Kathryn responded as she shook her head.

"What's going on here?" Gage Matthews questioned as he approached the two women in the corridor. He glanced over at Devon, then at Kathryn.

"Nothing," Kathryn responded. "Devon's just entertaining fantasies about things she doesn't understand."

"Like hell I am," Devon countered. "What were you doing at Jesse's apartment that day anyway?" She questioned.

"Look," Gage interrupted. "I don't know what's going on here and to be honest, I don't really care. As much as I'd like to see two girls go at it to the death, there are more important things to think about. Whatever is going on between the two of you comes second to Jesse getting better, so I suggest you suck it up and go to your neutral corners and find a way to deal with it," he explained.

"Whatever," Devon said as she shook her head and walked down the corridor.

"So what's up?" Cayden questioned as he sat on the chair beside Jesse's hospital bed. "What do you want to speak to me about?"

"I don't know," Jesse began, "I guess I just wanted to ask your opinion. Do you think what I did was stupid?" He asked as he glanced into Cayden's eyes for an answer.

Cayden remained silent for a moment before shaking his head. "I don't know," he responded honestly. "I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes."

"That's not an answer," Jesse noted. "You're evading the question."

"I guess you're right," Cayden explained, "but the truth is that I'm not sure. I mean . . . I thought about suicide a lot," he admitted. "I used to feel like there was something wrong with me. I knew that I wasn't like all of the other kids and somehow, I thought it was my fault . . . Like I was responsible for just being different. You don't know how many times I just wanted to end it all."

"But you didn't," Jesse said softly.

"No, I didn't," Cayden responded. "As much as I wanted to die, I couldn't bring myself to do it. After a while, I realized that I still had a lot to live for."

"I have nothing," Jesse noted.

"But you do," Cayden explained. "You have everything to live for. You have friends, your art."

"I don't have Julia."

"But you have her memories," Cayden explained. "Jesse, you have a lot more than most of us ever get. She loved you. I wish I knew what it felt like to be loved. That's what you have to remember, the time that you spent with her. You should think about all of the good things that she added to your life. Take her memories and create something positive."

"How do I do that?" Jesse questioned.

"One day at a time," Cayden answered. "You start by getting out of this bed orrow. You take care of yourself. You learn to live and love again."

"You don't think I'd be betraying her if I fell in love with someone else?" Jesse questioned.

Cayden shook his head, "I don't think so. I didn't know Julia, but I think I can say that if she really loved you the way I think she did, she would want you to be happy."

"I think so too," Jesse admitted. "It's just hard sometimes."

"Then it's all the more worth fighting for. Nothing in life is easy," Cayden explained. "Nothing just falls into our laps. Sometimes we have to go for what we want. We have to tell ourselves that we deserve it. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to find love. We deserve to live," he whispered.

Jesse's eyes filled with tears. "How can I? I let her down."

"You didn't let her down," Cayden responded. "The only way you'd be letting her down is if you gave up on life. If she could have fought back, I'm sure she would have. Giving up is the only way you'd be letting her down. You can't give up, Jesse, you have to fight."

Jesse nodded as tears slid down his cheeks. "I'll do it," he said softly. "I'll do it for Julia."

Jesse wiped the tears from his cheeks when he heard a knock at the door. He sat up straight in the bed and glanced over as Devon entered the room. "Is everything okay?" She questioned when she glanced over at Jesse.

"It's cool," he said.

"There's someone who wants to speak with you," Devon said as she motioned behind her. Jesse glanced past Devon at Szymon Skubisz. The detective entered the room. Standing behind him, Kathryn and Gage lingered at the periphery of the room.

Seated beside the bed, Cayden glanced over at Szymon for a moment before turning his attention back to his friend.

"Detective," Jesse said as the man approached, "what can I do for you?"

"I just stopped by to see if you were okay," Szymon responded.

"I tried to kill myself, I think we can rule out that possibility," Jesse retorted.

"Jesse," Kathryn said as she crossed over to the other side of the bed, "don't talk like that." She said as she reached over and cupped his hand in her own. She cast a glance in Devon's direction and saw the other woman roll her eyes.

"It's interesting that you would attempt suicide," Szymon noted. "But I have to ask myself why."

"Why do you think?" Devon interrupted, her every word filled with venomous scorn.

"I don't know," Szymon responded. "Maybe Mister Martinez attempted suicide because he felt guilty about something. What do you think, Jesse?" He questioned as he glanced at the man laying in the hospital bed.

"You son of a bitch," Devon said as she took a step forward. Gage reached over and prevented her from going any further.

"No, it's okay," Jesse said to his friend. Turning his attention to the detective, Jesse stared Szymon in the eye. "Detective Skubisz, I have nothing to feel guilty about because I didn't do anything wrong."

"You think he tried to kill himself because he felt guilty about killing Julia?" Devon questioned. "That's ridiculous. He didn't kill Julia."

"So he says," Szymon noted.

"Wait a second," Cayden said as he turned to Szymon. "What is wrong with you?"

"He's an asshole," Devon interjected.

"I'm just doing my job," Szymon reminded them.

"Your job is to harass people in their hospital beds?" Cayden questioned as he stepped in front of Szymon.

"Cayden, I'm sorry, but Jesse is a suspect in a homicide."

"That doesn't give you the right to come in here and throw around senseless accusations," he rejoined. "I mean, my God, he nearly took his own life and you see that as a chance to put him behind bars. What kind of person are you?" He questioned as he stared at the detective incredulously.

Szymon stared back at Cayden. He could feel the younger man's disappointment and found it hard to stare into Cayden's eyes. He glanced away. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"You certainly are," Kathryn Hayes spoke up. "Detective, I think you'd better leave."

"Very well," Szymon said with a nod as he headed for the door. Pausing, he glanced back at Cayden and saw the disappointment in his eyes. He glanced away and slipped out of the door.

As they entered the building, Cayden held the door open for Devon and they stepped into the lobby. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Devon questioned as she walked over to her mailbox and unlocked it.

"I was going to go home," Cayden said, "but my parents can't afford it, so I'm stuck here. What about you?"

"I was going to go to Georgia and spend the holiday with my family, but I'm not in the mood for the drunken arguments this year," she said as she retrieved her mail. "Maybe we can do something together and invite Jesse. We'll make some food and get beer or something. We'll keep it low key."

"That's cool," Cayden said as he checked his own mailbox. "Just let me know what to make," he explained.

"I'm concerned about Kathryn," Devon said, changing the subject.

Cayden locked his mailbox and turned toward her. "What do you mean?" He questioned.

"I don't know," Devon responded, "I just get this strange vibe from her, like she's up to something."

"I noticed that the two of you seemed distant in Jesse's hospital room. Did something happen?"

"I confronted her about how close she's getting to Jesse."

"You did what?" Cayden questioned.

"It's like she's trying to get close to him. I don't know why."

"Maybe she likes him," Cayden explained.

"I hope not," Devon responded. "She needs to find a hobby or something else to obsess over. Jesse's too fragile right now and I think she's taking advantage of that."

"Kathryn Hayes may be a lot of things, but I don't think she's manipulative," Cayden said as he turned and nearly bumped into the elderly woman standing behind him. "Mrs. Mulberry," he said apologetically. "I'm sorry."

Glancing at Cayden with disdain, Mrs. Mulberry pushed past him. "Watch where you're going, you little prick," she said as she stepped toward the mailboxes and unlocked her own. "And Devon's right," she added over her shoulder.

"Right about what?" Cayden inquired.

"Kathryn Hayes is a slut," Mrs. Mulberry responded as she retrieved her mail. "That ditzy little bitch would like nothing more than to sink her claws into Jesse. Just you watch," she said as she waved her mail in Cayden's face. "Mark my words."

She stepped past Cayden and smiled at Devon. "Devon," she said, "You haven't come over to play rummy in a while. You should drop by," she added.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Mulberry," Devon responded. "I've been busy at work lately."

"It's fine, I know how it can be, but when you have some free time, I'd love to have you over again. We can gossip like we used to," she added with a smile.

"You play rummy?" Cayden questioned.

"No, I just like to invite people over to play card games that I don't play," Mrs. Mulberry responded sarcastically. "Of course I play rummy. What's it to you?"

"I love to play rummy," Cayden informed her. "Maybe you'd like to play some day."

"I don't play rummy with nosey little assholes," Mrs. Mulberry responded over her shoulder as she headed for the elevator.

"What is her problem?" Cayden questioned.

"Mrs. Mulberry? She's a sweet old lady," Devon responded.

"Are you serious? She has a mouth like a sailor. She's rude to everyone, except you," he added as he glanced over at Devon curiously.

"That's because I'm sweet too," Devon joked. "She's lived in this building longer than anyone, and I figure that when you get that old, you're entitled to be a bitch."

"So what's you're excuse?" Cayden chided.

"PMS," Devon countered as she reached over and slapped Cayden on the arm. "Okay, so if we're doing this Thanksgiving thing, I'm gonna go back out and get a turkey. Before you know it, they'll all be gone, or we'll be stuck with one of those skinny little anorexic turkeys that no one buys."

"Oh really? I thought you liked cock," Devon responded.

Cayden's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

"You know, chicken?" Devon laughed.

"Ha ha, very funny," Cayden said as he rolled his eyes and smirked.

When Cayden King stepped off the elevator and glanced down the hall to the door of his apartment, he paused for a moment. Standing beside his door, he watched at Elijah Montessori knocked on the door and called out his name.

He shook his head and started for his apartment. "Elijah," he called out and saw the other man turn toward him.

"Thank God," Elijah said when he saw Cayden. "I thought I came all this way for nothing. I need your help," he said as Cayden fumbled with his keys.

"What's up?" Cayden questioned as he unlocked the door.

"Can I stay with you for the night?" He questioned.

"What happened?" Cayden asked as he stepped into the apartment followed by Elijah.

"My roommate is hooking up with this girl and I don't have anywhere to stay," he answered.

"Again? Your roommate gets around."

"Tell me about it. All he ever does is sleep and have sex. I have no idea how he's passing all of his classes. I never see him do anything else."

"There's a problem," Cayden responded. "I have a roommate now too."

"You do?" Elijah questioned.

"Yeah, my friend Mason from back home is staying with me, so the couch is taken."

"Damn," Elijah sighed. "What about the bed?" He questioned.

"My bed?" Cayden responded. "As in, the bed that I sleep in?" Cayden glanced at him for a moment. "You want to stay the night and sleep in my bed? With me?"

"It's just a bed," Elijah responded. "And just for one night. We're both adults here, I'm sure we can sleep in the same bed without a problem," he explained. He could see the doubt in Cayden's eyes. "Look, I won't get in your way and I promise that I'll be gone when the morning comes. Seriously."

Cayden regarded Elijah for a moment then nodded his head. "Okay, fine, but I sleep on the right side. I always sleep on the right side."

"That's cool with me. I'll take the left," Elijah said with a smile. "Thanks for letting me crash here tonight," he added.

"No problem," Cayden responded. "Don't make me regret it."

As he sat in the chair by the window, Gage Matthews stared out into the rainy night sky as he held a photograph in his hands. He held onto it like a memory etched deeply into his soul. Glancing down, he stared at the girl in the picture, the girl he'd let slip away, and a single tear slid down his cheek.

Getting up from the chair, he stepped over to the bed and opened the drawer on the nightstand. Gently, he placed the picture in the drawer and closed it, keeping his memory safe. He sighed as he lay his head down on the pillow and thought about what he'd told Detective Skubisz earlier that day.

"I was in love with someone once too, but it just wasn't meant to be." Closing his eyes, Gage Matthews went to sleep and found himself in a place where love existed, a place where everything was meant to be.

***

Devon James stared at the wall in silence as the rain outside poured down on the city streets. Glancing around, she sighed as she realized that she was alone. Her thoughts drifted back to the days when Julia and Jesse would come over and the three of them would stay up all night laughing.

She smiled as thoughts of Julia came to the forefront of her mind. She remembered a time when everyone was happy and when everyone got along. Crawling into her bed, Devon rested her head on the pillow.

As she shut her eyes, Devon remembered what she told Kathryn. "Some days I just wish I can go to sleep and wake up in the morning and realize that it was all a dream." She knew it wouldn't happen, but perhaps a dream was her way of being with her best friend once again, even if only until the morning came.

***

Staring down at Jesse Martinez as he slept, Kathryn Hayes smiled. He seemed to be at peace. For the first time in a long time, he actually seemed content. She reached over and covered him with the blanket and listened to him breathe.

A knock at the door caught her attention and she smiled when she caught sight of Dr. Waterman. "He's sleeping," she said softly.

"I just wanted to check on him," Dr. Waterman said as he approached the bed. "He's had a pretty eventful day."

Kathryn glanced at Jesse. "He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping," she remarked. "As if he doesn't have a problem in the world."

"He's got a long way to go before he'll find peace," Dr. Waterman said regretfully. "You should get some rest too," he said as he exited the room.

Kathryn glanced back at Jesse. "Every time I look at him, my heart breaks. He seems so lost and I just want to help him find his way." She was reminded of the words that she had told Cayden earlier, words she vowed to fulfill. Leaning over, she kissed Jesse on the forehead and smiled. Turning toward the chair at the side of the bed, Kathryn Hayes curled up and shut her eyes. She would see him through this and help him find the happiness that he so desperately needed.

***

It was hard for Szymon Skubisz to watch as Cayden King stared at him with contempt. The sight of the younger man shaking his head in disbelief was like a dagger being plunged deep into his chest.

He didn't want to hurt Cayden, he didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes. As he lay in bed, all Szymon Skubisz wanted was to hold Cayden and tell him that he was sorry. He wanted to show Cayden that he didn't want to hurt him.

As he rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, he recalled his conversation with Cayden.

"When you really love someone, you have to let them know."

It wasn't easy for Szymon Skubisz to let anyone that he loved them, but it seemed impossible for him say those words to Cayden King.

***

A sense of warmth caused Cayden King to awaken in the middle of the night. He could feel a warm body pressed against his, and an arm wrapped around him. Slightly confused, he glanced over his shoulder and saw Elijah sleeping beside him and holding him close.

Silently, Cayden considered moving, but the warmth and closeness of Elijah's body made him think twice. For as long as he could remember he wanted a boyfriend, and even if it was just for one night Cayden found that he wanted to be held. Content within Elijah's arms, Cayden closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

"I wish I knew what it felt like to be loved." He had said that to Jesse once, and as Cayden drifted back into sleep, he asked himself, "Is this what it feels like?"

Cayden King groaned and stretched in his bed as is eyes fluttered open. He glanced over at the left side of the bed and sighed. Elijah Montessori was gone. He could still feel Elijah's embrace, his arms wrapped around him, and he felt a sense of longing.

The sun poured through the window, casting it's brilliance across his face. He didn't want to leave the comfort of his bed. He didn't want to get up and brave the cold to face another day.

The comfort of his bed beckoned him to stay, but he resisted its seduction and sat up, stretching his arms. Breathing in deeply, he reached for the drawer on his bedside table where he kept his cell phone. As he opened the drawer, he caught sight of Julia Taylor's diary and, foregoing the cell phone, reached for the book.

He paused for a moment as held the diary and considered the lives of the people Julia had left behind. They each seemed so sad and broken. He wanted to do something for them. He wanted to put their minds at ease. He opened the diary and flipped through the pages. If he could find something that would help each of them, then it would all have been worth it. He began to read.

"It's 11:00 p.m. I can't go to sleep. There's a dog barking on the street. I feel like he's barking at me. Does he know what I've done? Is he torturing me because of what I did? If so, then maybe he's right. Maybe I don't deserve to sleep. Maybe I don't deserve anything. How can I face Jesse after what I've done? How can I face myself? I didn't plan for this to happen, I swear to God that I didn't. I love Jesse, I love him with all of my heart. How could I have been so stupid? How do I begin to tell him what I've done? I can't even begin to explain to myself what I did. If he finds out that I cheated on him, he'll be crushed and he'll never speak to me again. God, how could I be so stupid? How could I cheat on the only man that I have ever really loved? What is wrong with me?"

"11:47. The dog stopped barking. I think he's done torturing me. I'm not done torturing me. I'm going to try to go to sleep now. Maybe everything will be different orrow. Maybe I'll find a way to deal with what I've done. Maybe I'll wake up and realize that this was all a bad dream . . . when the morning comes . . ."